Stuck in the Airport #drjohnaking

I have just had my 8th flight delay in 3 days. But the funny thing is the way they do the delays, they seem to be in 75 minute increments.

They get you into the airport THEN tell you there is a delay, but the delay is only really 75 minutes. So, it is not enough time to get a car, go back through security and sit in a reasonable restaurant.

Then 25 minutes before you are suppose to board again they come and talk to you and take another 75 minutes of your life. Now you’re thinking, I could have gone to the mall, brought the wife a present, but no, I will stay here listening to the child who has obviously just been possessed with a devil or just received another installment of sugar and food coloring – the effects are similar.

The bland muzak starts to soak into your soul and the recycled air contains more ‘OPS’ (Other People Smell) than oxygen.

You wait in eager anticipation. The hour approaches. Then they come. The counter people – the most powerful people in your now diminishing universe. They stroke the keys, they hand out favors, they bestow….upgrades and voucher compensation and just before you are about to board…. they, like members of a Transylvanian cult, they suck another 75 minutes from your life.

This time you get online, spend another $9.50 for another hour or wifi because when you started this you thought paying $24 dollars for a day pass was ridiculous. You look up all the movies you could have seen and the sights you could have visited and all you have to look forward to is fighting over the scraps of greasey Pizza Hut Pizza as the people around you start to take on a Post-apocolyptic feel.

You come to watch with envy the fat guy who positioned himself hours ago in front of the only power outlet in all 4 terminals.

And you wait. Your ipad has no power. Your computer hates you. You hang your head and find yourself counting carpet titles and looking for faces of famous people in the old chewing gum smears that cover the floor.

And slowly your theology starts to change. You know the Catholics are right, there IS a purgatory and it has been renamed the Colorado Springs Airport.