Sex is a conversation.

Would you say you had an intimate relationship if you only talked once a month?

So here is the scenario. Your having marriage difficulties. Things have not been going well for a while. You sit down with a friend you trust and they ask you “are you two talking regularly? Are you communicating often and openly?” Your reply is ” Oh yes, every 4th Saturday we sit down and talk for a whole 20 mins, I never let us miss it”. If they slapped you, they are a good friend.

Sounds ridiculous when I put it like that doesn’t it?

In the first year of marriage, couples normally have sex 5-10 times a week. On average after 3 years of marriage couples are having sex about once a week. After 5 years it is down to only twice a month. After 15 years of marriage…your buggered…maybe twice a year for a sympathy romp if your lucky.

Based on these statistics and a desrie to help your children know what to look forward to, would you be prepared to give them suggesting like this before they got married? “Honey all you need to do to stay happily married is to have two 20 minute conversations every year” or “Son don’t worry about her needs, just talk to her once every six months or so and she will stay faithful to you”.

I love chatting with my best friend. I love watching movies and talking. Going for walks and talking. Sitting around reading books not saying a word..yet we are still somehow ‘talking’. I would never want that to stop..EVER.

I feel it should be the same with sex. I have the same sex drive now that I did when I was 20. I have the same desire to communicate to my best friend now that I had when we first met all those years ago. And if your not going to ‘talk’ to each other,one of you will wander off and have a chat to someone else. This valentines day, why don’t you rest the clock and start your conversations all over again.

Happy Valentines Day